The enemy locked within

Only you hold the key

Again I fought the internal battle. An ongoing war that is never ending. Sometimes the fight is easy. Other day’s you fight for your life. There are days that there are none at all and I start to wonder. ‘Maybe I finally won’. Then the next day comes and it feels like Hell has invaded earth.

The enemy? Me! Yes, the same guy I look at in the mirror is the same guy I fight with every single day of my life.

There are many of us that self-sabotage. When things are going good, we find a way to mess it up or make it more difficult. I find this to be true for myself. I know that I am not the only one. But why? Why do we do this to ourselves? After years of contemplation I have come to the cause. Simple really. It all stems back to but one simple word… Identity. Believing that you are not worthy of anything good in life.

Subconsciously we believe that we are not good enough and therefore we are not worthy of any goodness in our lives. That is when we start finding excuses that we rationalize as reasons. It is when the voice inside our heads is screaming the loudest. You get distracted with things of unimportance and get confused about simple decisions. Scared to make the wrong one, yet not courageous enough to make the right one.

I have learned the hard way that my biggest enemy is myself. I became aware that when good things are happening for me, I need to be conscious of stepping out of the way because honestly, the only person who can mess it up is me.

Realize that the jail cell you think is holding you captive is your own thinking. The only person who can unlock it is you. You have the key, so open it!

I often think that I locked myself in a mental jail to keep myself safe from that which I feared. But it is facing your fears that allows you to become stronger which makes you safer.

Our thinking is powerful. What we think is who we become. Who we become is what we will get in life. So, what are you thinking about yourself and about life? One of the people I admire most, Ed Mylett, has a saying. “Life happens for you, not to you”. Regardless of the good or bad that happens to you, it is also happening for you. But as Viktor Frankl famously wrote. It is our attitude to the circumstances that matters the most. Because in the end, attitude is the final factor.

Learn to quiet that mongrel voice inside that tells you all the bad things about you. Learn to discern the truth and reality from any given situation. The way you feel is not necessarily the way you are. Learn to separate feelings and internal chatter from truth and reality. The only one who can do it is you. You have that jail cell key.

My biggest prayer for myself and for others is “God give me peace”. Jesus gave us peace this world cannot give us. But if we are constantly listening to the wrong voice, how can we experience that peace? We need to listen to the voice that speaks truth over our lives.

The next battle with yourself will come. When the bell rings for that round two to start. Decide to get out of the ring, The fight is not worth it I promise you! Tell yourself that you are worthy, good and beautiful. You were called to be so much greater, so do not listen to that self-loathing voice within your head. No, rather meditate on the truth that the creator of the universe loved you so much, He sent His son to die for you on a cross. You are THAT worthy.

Believe in yourself. Because you are worth it!

“When there is no enemy within, the enemy outside can do you no harm.”

-African proverb



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André Nel

I am a freelance writer with a passion for life, with a focus to teach people how to increase the quality of their lives and help grow leaders.